2009

I haven't posted in a long time because honestly all I could think to write about was how insanely stupid I've been to take on so much at once. Trying to obtain my teaching credential, while shuttling my kids to their activities, and volunteering at their school way more than could possibly be healthy makes me feel like Cat in the Hat up on the ball watching all the things fall. Honestly, I'm almost 40. You'd think I'd know better by now. But some recent, grave happenings on the periphery of my existence have made me stop and realize how very fortunate I am to have the choice to make myself crazy busy, and how I really need to do something terrible cliche and stop to smell the roses as life goes by at its dizzying pace. In honor of my rose sniffing attempt I will now share with you the two things I learned today.

1) From Drew I learned that Opossums are marsupials.

2) From the Internet I learned how to download a new font into my computer.

Huzzah! Boy do I feel smart, but when I really look deeper I realize that I've learned all sorts of fun facts today that I'm hoping my brain will somehow file away while I sleep for retrieval at some other quite possibly inappropriate time.

I learned that:

Trader Joe mini chocolate chip cookies are NOT the breakfast of champions

Movie sets make me nostalgic for my college days, especially when I stumbled upon them in the Food Court of my local mall while buying my father's birthday present.

Game Stop employees know their products almost too well (OK, not almost)

Even though I've never been a "shopper" As Seen On TV stores can tempt me to make irrational purchases

I can leave my house at 12:08, purchase a latte from Starbucks and still make it to teach my 12:25 class

The wacky geek display at Fry's Electronics that sounds like the birth of Frankenstein's monster scares me every single time it goes off

I hate confrontation, and I always beat myself up about it after the fact, even when deep down I feel I did the right thing

I hate laundry

Ah so much hate there at the end, right when I really want to rosey-up my outlook on life. I'd like to find a happy note on which to leave this post, yet somehow they elude me completely. Drat!

Back from Back East

We're back from Erie and still have most of the family still talking to us so - SUCCESS! It was beautiful there, I'd forgotten how green and blue and flowery everything is there right on the lake. My kids swam in Lake Erie, saw Perry's Monument and walked around the public dock. My kids rode the Comet at Waldameer, the same roller coaster I rode when I was a kid, my parents rode as kids and my grandparents rode as kids and that's pretty darn cool. New this year, the park added a new roller coaster to mimic one that existed when the park opened in 1896. It crosses over the road that goes out to the peninsula. As a kid I never went out to the peninsula without being reminded of the coaster that used to go over the road, neither did my parents, and neither did their parents. My great grandparents rode that roller coaster when they were kids.

After Erie we drove out to see Niagara Falls. The kids were impressed by the falls, loved the Maid of the Mist and had a great time visiting with their cousins while there. We saw an amazing rainbow when the setting sun hit the mist of the horseshoe falls just right, won $140 in the Casino when we traded some babysitting with my sister, and walked in the warm summer rain by the falls at night where Brian was able to make a giant shadow puppet on the face of the falls (or so he says.) And the best part for me were the notes Gwen wrote on the plane ride home. This one is a picture of the snow globe she chose as a souvenir.

Reunions...

We leave tomorrow for our trip to Erie, Pa to attend our O'Hara family reunion. My parents are going. My sister with her husband and kids are going. Almost all my aunts and uncles and cousins are going. And I get to see my Grandma Mary and my Great Aunt Marge. Who knows who less we may get to see? There may even be nuns involved. Party, party, party!

Afterward, my sister and I (with our immediate family firmly attached) will be heading to Niagara Falls for a little extended family detox session and a ride on the Maid of the Mist. Whoo hoo!

It's bound to be an exciting week, but cross your fingers though. With a family like mine there's no telling what might happen. If we all make it back without being disowned I'll rate it as a success, and trust me, we've come back before having failed in that particular endeavor. Wish us luck!

Old Friends

I knew a girl when I was 13 who was obsessed with Indiana Jones. Not to be confused with the actor Harrison Ford, but seriously hung up on the character Indiana Jones. She also thought Macaroni and Cheese was Satanic and often dreamed of Indiana Jones saving her from heaping vats of creamy orange elbow noodles. OK, She was more than a little wierd, but she was 16 when I was 13. She actually talked to me and everything and I thought she just totally rocked. When I heard about the new Indiana Jones movie coming out I couldn't help but think of her doing a happy dance somewhere. She's probably way over her Indy obsession, but I bet she couldn't help but buy a ticket and go.

Whaaa!

Early Wednesday morning, and by early I mean 3am, I woke from a horrible nightmare. This in itself is nothing new. I typically expect a 3am insomniac wake up call about once or twice a month. I think its just stress, but this particular Wednesday was just a little bit extra freaky.

The dream wasn't really all that scary. In it, I walked into one of my 3rd grade classes to teach music but the teach informed me I was late. I came at the wrong time. I couldn't make up the class and in the dream, she was pissed off. In the dream, the shock of it slammed into my gut - I let my kids down. The ones who hate school and look forward to the little tiny bit of music they get each week. Oh, the looks on their faces.......I woke up in a cold sweat, panting like I'd run a race.

Then I laughed because seriously, I would never let these kids down. I know my schedule, and the teacher...she's the nicest and the sweetest of all 8 classes I teach in. Really, she would understand and let me reschedule. So I lay in bed and waited until 5:30am for sleep to come.

In the morning, I told my kids about my funny scary dream and how it woke me up as I dropped them off at school. We laughed about it and I forgot all about it.

Until that afternoon when I walked into that classroom and lived out the reality. Oh my God, it was exactly the same!! The icy teacher stare, the sad little kid faces, the impossibility of rescheduling....I showed up at the end time instead of the start time. No class today! Stupid, stupid!!

And it slammed into me like a load of bricks. Why didn't I double check the time?? Did I just dream this would happen this morning?? Why didn't I take it more seriously??

But really, how many of your dreams come true?? Definitely not mine - thank god - as I occasionally have some seriously scary freaky dreams that wake me at 3am. What are the chances really that this one would come true?? And now on top of feeling like the lowest worm for letting my kids down, I feel like a total nut job too.

What's up with me....

I think I've gone completely mental. I seem to misplace everything.

I currently teach 8 classes a week for the music for minors program and I've to date forget ten something in every class, but one: my sunglasses, my purse, my keys, my jacket, my lyrics chart, one maraca, and my CDs. It's gotten to where the ladies in the school office just give me all the lost and found items as they're almost always mine. And today the school secretary gave me this.....

And if it would actually work, I'd do it myself. Has anyone seen my brain??

Back to it, 2008.

Well, the holidays are over and Drew and Gwen went back to school today. Waaa! I loved having them home and sleeping in and lazing around with the rain pounding on the house. I played a lot of Wii, read a lot of books, and danced my kids around to Supercalifragulisticexpealidocious . But now I'm dancing a different tune and I'm back to Wakeupgetdressedhomeworktimegetyourshoeson. Blech! It would normally make me want to crawl under the covers and never come out until Spring Break except I do have two exciting things coming up in January, our family ski weekend and the start of this year's school play - "The Made Adventures of Mr. Toad." Yeehaw! Let's do this thing.

No one expects the Spanish Inquisition

My favorite part of Christmas has always been Christmas Eve. I love the anticipation in leaving a note for Santa along with a plate of cookies and a mug of milk. I love hanging the stockings over the fireplace, and placing the presents under the tree. And I love that it's the same year after year like a dance you used to know and almost forgot you loved. And, step number one of that dance for me has always been - Go To Church.

Yes, I'll admit I'm not particularly religious, and yes, Christmas Eve is usually the only day of the year I go to church, but really, I love the children's mass. You know the one that starts at 4pm where the little kids at the church's school put on the nativity play? I am such a sucker for the nativity play! My eyes even get a little misty when little 10 year old Joseph and 7 year old Mary walk down the aisle asking for room at the inn. They are so serious and so cute in their modified bed sheets and sandals!! I can't stay away, I am compelled to attend every year.

This year, we thought we'd try a new church closer to our final evening destination, my parent's house in San Jose. We went to St. Joseph's Catholic Church which is associated with Mission San Jose. It's a huge church that holds a ton of people. As we sat through the mass I began thinking how much I've missed this, that I really enjoy church. I was even think maybe I should think about coming more often....then it came to the communion part.

Brian and I decided we would go up and receive communion. Now many might say from a strict Catholic perspective that we really shouldn't since we only attend church once a year, and haven't been to confession since - I don't even know how long, but it's Christmas and it's easier for everyone not to have to step over us on their way up and I really haven't been doing a lot of sinning in years, and Jesus is a forgiving guy anyway and he won't mind.....I'm thinking it's going to be ok.

Anyway, since you're probably not Catholic I'll explain how communion is supposed to work. You walk up to the priest (Eucharistic minister if there aren't enough priests). He says "Body of Christ?" like a question. In response you say. "Amen." The priest puts the little wafer in your hand. You eat it, then cross yourself. Done. Easy. And being raised REALLY Catholic I can tell you that I not only know this drill, I could probably teach Holy Communion Sunday School. 9 years of CCD would make anyone a pro.

But, when I walked up to the Eucharistic minister on Christmas eve he did not say "Body of Christ?" like he was supposed to. He said, "Are you Catholic?" in what I'm going to call an accusatory way. At this point, a couple hundred smart ass responses pored through my brain...

"No, I'm just really hungry and those wafers look really tasty."
"I sooo am. Just quiz me!"
"No, I just had an hour to kill before dinner."
"How DID you guess?"
"Yes I am. Are you?"
"No, I'm Buddhist, but I come every year for the incense. Hmmm, smells almost like ganja!"

But, I was able to bite all my nasty comments back and respond with a dumbfounded, " Yyyeess." At which point the rest proceeded as normal. Once back at the pew, I watched the minister had out the rest of his little wafers. Shoot! it's been a year since I've been to church, maybe the drill has changed, but no. He did not ask anyone else. In fact Brian's dad has been a Eucharistic minister for years and neither has he asked anyone this, nor has he heard of anyone every asking this at mass.

Now if your Catholic you already know that the churches are only really full on Christmas and Easter. I was not the only person visiting. Was I wearing some kind of sign? Maybe I've got "smote with lighting now!" tattooed across my forehead. If you were a church trying to welcome new people who might not often attend regularly, don't you think you might try to make them feel welcome and not like they were trying to sneak in to someone else's family reunion??

Drat! The rest of Christmas Eve was fantastic and fun, but church did not bring with it's usual comfort. It made me feel set apart from something special and it made me a little sad.