1040 not EZ

I never understood what the big deal was about tax time. I'd reported my own taxes with little or no pain from the time I was 15. Every year they'd get a little more complex with cohabitation and joint bank accounts and kids and houses, even ESPP and stock options plans, but it couldn't stop me from filing. Even two years ago when turbo tax went completely wacky - yeah sure I complained a lot but I got them done. But THIS YEAR....it occurred to me that we're adults now and I've been hacking at our taxes for over 10 years now. I'm not a trained professional, and with these new RSU shares all over our W-2 I decided to seek help. Really what could I know??

This morning I had my first appointment with a tax consultant. To prepare I ran through my tax paperwork and entered it into my at home tax program so I'd make sure not to leave any important papers at home. Tra la la.....wow! It says I owe an absurd amount of money!!! But alas that can't be right. Really what could I know?? So I sat for an hour and watched a man enter my information into a computerized tax program and found out that I could know an awful lot, in fact my numbers and his were identical. My first thought was I'm a complete moron, I have to pay this man $XXX to do what I should have done myself, but this was quickly overshadowed by my sudden need to breath rapidly into a brown paper bag. We owe the government WHAT!!!!

Bust out the Raman recipes - the Schoner spending spree is officially over. And my dreams of a new notebook computer join my copy of Turbo Tax 2006 in the trash can.

I've been thinking a long time about going back to school to become a teacher and I really do mean a long time. I picked up my first credential information packet from UCLA in 1992, but yet just as I'm about to enroll something always stops me. A good paying job, a move, I want to keep my children out of day care, I'm not ready to go back to work, it'd be easier just to get a part-time desk job somewhere, teachers don't make good money, but in the end they are all just excuses. The truth is I'm scared.....scared to try because I'm scared, completely terrified, of failing, of being a bad teacher, of letting kids down, or my family down. I've never been good at finishing what I start. I have a half crocheted baby blanket, half of a quilt, a dresser with one drawer refinished. I start and stop diets and exercise programs weekly...
Yesterday, my friend Tina told me she starts her teacher credentialing program March 5th and I'm jealous. We were going to start together, but I've been dragging my feet because I'm scared, because starting feels like a commitment that I'm not sure I can make. Its outside my comfort zone, that holding pattern I've been hiding in for a while now. But just maybe this is the push I need to finally dive into something head first instead of always testing the water and never really taking the plunge. Just maybe this time I can try and succeed or fail know that I gave it my best. And just maybe that's the best any of us can really hope for.

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Gwen is sick with the same crazy flu going around our elementary school, but with an added twist today she decided to turn blue out of the...well, blue.

"Mommy I don't feel so good. Can you take my temperature??"
"You don't look so good honey. Let's see...."

95.1 - Ok that's really low. Maybe she didn't put it under her tongue all the way? 95.7 Ok maybe a different thermometer? 95.5 This is the point where I panic. I mean, she slept all day yesterday, but so did her brother when he had the flu, but at no point has either of my kids been under temperature. Turns out she's dehydrated. Turns out she needs 2-4oz. of Gatorade every hour. If she can't keep it down we proceed to the ER. If she turns blue again our doctor is on call tonight. And either way we'll be in his office bright eyed and bushy tailed at 8:15 tomorrow morning. Blech!