I've been thinking a long time about going back to school to become a teacher and I really do mean a long time. I picked up my first credential information packet from UCLA in 1992, but yet just as I'm about to enroll something always stops me. A good paying job, a move, I want to keep my children out of day care, I'm not ready to go back to work, it'd be easier just to get a part-time desk job somewhere, teachers don't make good money, but in the end they are all just excuses. The truth is I'm scared.....scared to try because I'm scared, completely terrified, of failing, of being a bad teacher, of letting kids down, or my family down. I've never been good at finishing what I start. I have a half crocheted baby blanket, half of a quilt, a dresser with one drawer refinished. I start and stop diets and exercise programs weekly...
Yesterday, my friend Tina told me she starts her teacher credentialing program March 5th and I'm jealous. We were going to start together, but I've been dragging my feet because I'm scared, because starting feels like a commitment that I'm not sure I can make. Its outside my comfort zone, that holding pattern I've been hiding in for a while now. But just maybe this is the push I need to finally dive into something head first instead of always testing the water and never really taking the plunge. Just maybe this time I can try and succeed or fail know that I gave it my best. And just maybe that's the best any of us can really hope for.