No one expects the Spanish Inquisition

My favorite part of Christmas has always been Christmas Eve. I love the anticipation in leaving a note for Santa along with a plate of cookies and a mug of milk. I love hanging the stockings over the fireplace, and placing the presents under the tree. And I love that it's the same year after year like a dance you used to know and almost forgot you loved. And, step number one of that dance for me has always been - Go To Church.

Yes, I'll admit I'm not particularly religious, and yes, Christmas Eve is usually the only day of the year I go to church, but really, I love the children's mass. You know the one that starts at 4pm where the little kids at the church's school put on the nativity play? I am such a sucker for the nativity play! My eyes even get a little misty when little 10 year old Joseph and 7 year old Mary walk down the aisle asking for room at the inn. They are so serious and so cute in their modified bed sheets and sandals!! I can't stay away, I am compelled to attend every year.

This year, we thought we'd try a new church closer to our final evening destination, my parent's house in San Jose. We went to St. Joseph's Catholic Church which is associated with Mission San Jose. It's a huge church that holds a ton of people. As we sat through the mass I began thinking how much I've missed this, that I really enjoy church. I was even think maybe I should think about coming more often....then it came to the communion part.

Brian and I decided we would go up and receive communion. Now many might say from a strict Catholic perspective that we really shouldn't since we only attend church once a year, and haven't been to confession since - I don't even know how long, but it's Christmas and it's easier for everyone not to have to step over us on their way up and I really haven't been doing a lot of sinning in years, and Jesus is a forgiving guy anyway and he won't mind.....I'm thinking it's going to be ok.

Anyway, since you're probably not Catholic I'll explain how communion is supposed to work. You walk up to the priest (Eucharistic minister if there aren't enough priests). He says "Body of Christ?" like a question. In response you say. "Amen." The priest puts the little wafer in your hand. You eat it, then cross yourself. Done. Easy. And being raised REALLY Catholic I can tell you that I not only know this drill, I could probably teach Holy Communion Sunday School. 9 years of CCD would make anyone a pro.

But, when I walked up to the Eucharistic minister on Christmas eve he did not say "Body of Christ?" like he was supposed to. He said, "Are you Catholic?" in what I'm going to call an accusatory way. At this point, a couple hundred smart ass responses pored through my brain...

"No, I'm just really hungry and those wafers look really tasty."
"I sooo am. Just quiz me!"
"No, I just had an hour to kill before dinner."
"How DID you guess?"
"Yes I am. Are you?"
"No, I'm Buddhist, but I come every year for the incense. Hmmm, smells almost like ganja!"

But, I was able to bite all my nasty comments back and respond with a dumbfounded, " Yyyeess." At which point the rest proceeded as normal. Once back at the pew, I watched the minister had out the rest of his little wafers. Shoot! it's been a year since I've been to church, maybe the drill has changed, but no. He did not ask anyone else. In fact Brian's dad has been a Eucharistic minister for years and neither has he asked anyone this, nor has he heard of anyone every asking this at mass.

Now if your Catholic you already know that the churches are only really full on Christmas and Easter. I was not the only person visiting. Was I wearing some kind of sign? Maybe I've got "smote with lighting now!" tattooed across my forehead. If you were a church trying to welcome new people who might not often attend regularly, don't you think you might try to make them feel welcome and not like they were trying to sneak in to someone else's family reunion??

Drat! The rest of Christmas Eve was fantastic and fun, but church did not bring with it's usual comfort. It made me feel set apart from something special and it made me a little sad.